When couples commit to start living together, they make many promises to love, support and respect each other until death do them part. However, every relationship is different and, over the years, many circumstances could shake these vows.
Love should be enough for two people to be together and happy, but life as a couple is nourished by much more. Therein lies the detail, in living together, in the awkward conversations and in the gray days; it is in these difficulties that you can see what a relationship is made of.
María Alejandra Mora is a lawyer, with more than 14 years of experience in conciliation of couples, who highlights a series of recommendations to improve couple relationships in which she promotes detachment, assertive communication and balance between intimacy, passion and commitment.
Make plans as a couple: sometimes you are together all day, but the idea is to spend time as an actual couple. A date like when you were sweethearts, a nice meal at home; dedicate quality time to each other.
According to experts, relationships have 4 fundamental components: intimacy, commitment, love and romance. When romance diminishes, the relationship is supported by intimacy and commitment. Therefore, it is necessary to balance, because one component alone cannot sustain an entire relationship.
Surprise each other: saying “I love you” is as wonderful as feeling it and showing it, but there are many ways to surprise your partner to reaffirm their feelings. Make them fall in love with you, flatter them or apologize if you made a mistake; that is what details are all about. Details do not always have to be extraordinary gifts, a few chocolates, some flowers, or making your partner’s favorite food.
I give you ideas, you do the magic. I assure you that a detail, no matter how small, can turn a normal day into an unforgettable one.
Support each other: couples who share household chores, who listen to each other and who support each other in difficult circumstances create bonds of trust that allow them to get to know each other better and face commitments and responsibilities, that is, they manage to be on the same page.
Laugh: studies show that laughing stimulates the release of endorphins, lowers anxiety levels and creates bonds of friendship and affection. Can you imagine what you would achieve if you laugh more often with your partner? Get the funny side of life, watch comedy movies, go out to parties, in short, find reasons to smile together.
To remember is to live: every couple has its history, so go to that park where you had your first kiss or to the places where you used to meet when you were dating. Memories always remain and show the road you have gone through together, the achievements you have reached and it is an incentive to continue doing your best for the relationship.
Take care of your sexuality: sex life over the years should improve; however, routines, fleeting encounters and apathy are factors that can extinguish the flame of passion. Therefore, it is necessary to talk about it, about what we like and what we do not like, about our fantasies and needs and feed the desire by creating moments of intimacy that are not limited only to intercourse: it is necessary to hug, kiss, touch and compliment each other.
Alone time: being together does not mean that each of you cannot also do solo activities such as going to the gym, playing sports or going out with friends. It is healthy to have recreational spaces, because this distance encourages romanticism, eroticism and sexual contact. Jealousy, control and the absence of limits only cause difficulties in relationships, because no one likes to feel watched and controlled.
Do not let your problems affect your relationship: do not allow family, work, economic or other situations to interfere with your relationship, on the contrary, it is important to support each other and maintain empathy for the welfare of both.
Evaluate your relationship: when things are not going well, we do not want to see the signs, which is reflected in relationships that deteriorate little by little. That is why you should ask each other a simple question: How do I feel about the relationship? It is a way to measure the temperature of it.
Make decisions: and although all of the above can strengthen your relationship, it is important to clarify that when a relationship becomes violent, abusive and unsustainable, your physical and mental health is above and you must decide whether to continue and commit to improve the relationship or end it for good.
Finally, María Alejandra Mora concludes that: “Improving a couple’s relationship is an agreement that actively involves its members. Those who, in a flexible and voluntary way, face problems and different situations in their common life.”
Living together does not imply that the other person must change to please you, it is rather making the decision to build a relationship in which both of you achieve everything you set out to achieve by supporting each other while moving in the same direction… What greater proof of love!
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