Sexologists explain that many couples who live together for years, over time, lose sexual interest. One of the reasons is because they limit sexual encounters to penetration, forgetting other forms of pleasure.
These situations are caused by myths and sexual taboos in which it is always thought that the man should be the one who dominates during sexual relations and the woman should be submissive, which has resulted in their enjoyment taking a back seat, causing frustration.
The solution to this lies in living sexuality with empathy, which is more related to communication, complicity and trust, so that each one can express what they like and, therefore, find pleasure together.
There is a sexual practice known as Kunyaza, a technique that has been traditionally developed in Central Africa and East African countries, such as Rwanda.
The word “kunyaza” means urination or female ejaculation in Rundi. It consists of stimulating the nerve endings of the female genitals with the glans or with the fingers or with a dildo (sex toy).
The characteristic of this centuries-old technique is the amount of liquid (squirting) that the woman expels during this practice, in addition to the intensification of the female orgasm.
Oliver Jourdain, director of the documentary ‘The Sacred Water’ explains the origin of kunyaza through a legend. It turns out that at the time of the Third Dynasty, a king named Kamagere went on a military excursion. The queen was left alone and sought solace with a royal guard.
The guard feared for the king’s reprisals, so he was unable to penetrate the queen, (how thoughtful) and came up with something better: rubbing his penis on the vulva of the sovereign and causing her an apotheosis-like and pyrotechnic orgasm… All that while being afraid, how about that?!
The African sexologist and writer Nsekuye Bizimana, in his book ‘Kunyaza’, confirms that this practice comes from a long tradition. According to several interviews compiled for his work, many natives over 70 years old confirm that their grandparents practiced it and that they were in charge of transmitting the legacy to the following generations.
In Rwanda, female orgasm is considered a matter of honor and wisdom for men. In the documentary, some women explain their experience: “You feel like a real woman. It’s like breaking a dam,” says one of the interviewees.
According to the documentary, the amount of vaginal fluid (kunyara) expelled is approximately one liter. In Rwanda, married couples are given a mat of banana fibers to protect the mattresses, because it is understood that if a married couple has a healthy and happy sex life, both will have many wet nights of female orgasms.
Popularly, this sexual practice is known by Rwandans as “putting the dog to drink water”, referring to having sexual intercourse.
In his book, Bizimania explains step by step how to practice this technique to have better results. The secret lies in the rhythmic action of the penis around the clitoris, vulva (umeseke) and vagina. It is not about pressing hard or acting with intensity, it is about caressing up and down, with the glans, fingers or sex toys the woman’s genitals.
In the book, the author explains that this method is ideal for foreplay or it can also be an exclusive practice, because both can reach orgasm. Kuyanza involves a non-penetrative phase and a progressive penetration phase consisting of:
External stimulation: first stimulate the labia majora, labia minora and clitoris with the glans or fingers, or the mouth or a dildo. The man should hold the penis with his thumb and forefinger, preferably, and gently caress these areas. :
Again, it is a soft and delicate rocking until she begins to demand more intensity in the movements. By the way, up and down, circles or zigzags are suggested. It is important to communicate and watch your partner’s reaction during the movements.
There are two terms that define the essential movement of kunyaza. They are ‘gucuga’, to hit gently, which are rhythmic touches that enhance pleasure, and ‘gucumita’, or to sting, which are light touches on the clitoris and vulva in a direct way.
Internal stimulation: After vaginal lubrication occurs during foreplay, vaginal penetration is initiated, but not completely. The idea is to stimulate the outermost part of the vagina.
Your mission, if you decide to accept it, is to do this exercise correctly, so that the climax is optimal for both of you and you finish the coitus. If it doesn’t happen, the important thing is to keep practicing and enjoying it.
Experts suggest that the best position to practice kuyanza is any position that provides comfort. It is recommended that she lies on her back and he lies on or near her legs.
‘Umusatsi’ is the position where the woman is on top of the man to control the depth and pace of penetration. Cushions or erotic furniture can be useful to adopt this position more comfortably. Other suggested positions are: missionary, doggy style or lotus flower.
Remember that in variety there’s pleasure. To enjoy this technique, sexologists recommend lubrication to avoid annoying friction and allow the massage to be more silky. Ask for advice in erotic stores, which offer a variety of products.
And, although this technique will bring pleasure to both of you, the protagonist of kunyaza is the woman and, specifically, her pleasure is in the foreground. More than a practice or a technique, it is an experience of self-discovery, pleasure and liberation. Because by elevating your partner’s pleasure, you also elevate your own.
Traducción del español: Catalina Oviedo Brugés
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