Some questions have divided humanity, such as “which came first: the chicken or the egg?” or “which comes first: work or experience?” Well, the same creators bring this question: can men and women be friends without any romantic interest?
We asked 30 people, men and women between the ages of 25 and 60 from different professions and with different ways of thinking and perceiving life, what their opinion was. Here are the most notable responses:
Felipe, 52, journalist:
“I’m skeptical about this whole idea that men and women can be friends. Almost always, one of them has a crush on the other, and that’s the finish line of the ‘friendship’.”
Iván, 40, dentist:
“Two people can be friends as long as there’s no attraction on either side, because it might lead to them trying to date and it not working out. If they’re emotionally mature people, they can have the best of friendships; an unbreakable bond.”
Diego, 35, lawyer:
“If there’s no physical chemistry, nothing’s going to happen. Two people can be friends depending on how mature they each are. The thing is, if the man has feelings for a woman and she doesn’t, he’s always going to try to win her over, and in the end, they won’t be friends, just acquaintances.”
“But if they actually realize that they value their friendship more than being in a relationship, I think they can be friends. That’s precisely where the maturity of men and women shows: when they’re friends without being in a romantic relationship. Because maturity isn’t about age, you can be 20 and mature, or 50 and immature. What matters is your perception of life.”
Gilberto, 60, actor:
“It’s happened to me, it’s complicated, but it’s possible to be friends with a woman. The problem is when she’s pretty.”
Marcela, 27, hotel receptionist:
“I don’t think so. Most men get carried away around women. You can’t even be friendly because they immediately think you’re flirting with them. If you have male friends, it’s because you’ve known them for a long time, for example, since school, because if you meet them as adults, it’s hard for you to be just friends.”
Aida, 42, teacher:
“I had an experience with a friend I used to hang out with. We’d go out and spend time together, until one day we slept together and had a great time. It happened in several occasions, but suddenly we asked ourselves ‘what do we value more: our friendship or the relationship that is just starting?’ because we knew it wasn’t going anywhere.”
“We knew each other very well, but we were different, and we realized that we were on different paths too. So we chose our friendship, because that’s how it had all started, and because we had fun when we were together. We closed that chapter in a mature way and remained friends. He got married, and so did I, we each went our separate ways. We value our friendship and, even though we don’t see each other as often anymore, we do stay in touch, and our affection for each other remains the same.”
Angie, 50, cosmetic doctor:
“Personally, I have a lot of male friends, and something interesting happens in my case: I’m friends with several of my exes. Well, the romantic relationship didn’t work out, but as friends, things are smooth like butter.”
Katty, 30, nutritionist:
“Well, in my opinion, it’s a resounding yes. I have excellent male friends who, in many situations, have supported and listened to me even more than my girlfriends have. And from the very beginning, we’ve been clear: we’re bound by affection and respect.”
We invited psychologist and therapist Bertha Upegui to join the conversation, and she explained how friendship between men and women works:
“For a friendship between a man and a woman to exist, there must be no romantic or sexual interest. When there is clarity, respect, and boundaries, two people can share, listen to each other, support one another, and even care for each other through friendship without any romantic intent.”
She adds: “We have to be honest, sometimes attraction arises and feelings change, and it could happen that one of the two starts expecting something more, and that’s where emotional maturity plays an important role. The problem isn’t being friends, the problem is when one person says ‘we’re friends,’ but deep down is hoping that someday something more will happen,” Upegui points out.
And although the debate continues, the truth is that friendship is a wonderful feeling, just as important as love, that over time turns into siblinghood, complicity, and companionship.
When you have a friend, their joys and achievements become yours, just as their sorrows and struggles do. No amount of time or distance can separate you when the feeling is sincere, and there’s no greater pride than knowing you can always count on their friendship.
Happy Love and Friendship Day to all our readers. Sending #sinrecato hugs and kisses to all of you.
Traducción del español: Catalina Oviedo Brugés
